Thoughts x 1000...

posted on: Thursday, 24 March 2016

Hi. Long time no see. Been busy.

I should send that line as explanation to everyone I know, as at the moment I am a blur in everyone's rear view mirror. It's not been all bad - we went away for a few days to Miami, which was a hell of a long way to go for such a short time, but, well anyway, long story, it was a thing with my husband's work. We flew on my birthday, which was strange; nothing like being suspended over the Atlantic for nine hours on your 42nd birthday and feeling rather conflicted about leaving your kids at home. Yes, I did. Of course, they were fine.


On the flight a woman got so drunk that she fell over, virtually in to my lap, hit her head and had a nosebleed all over her beautiful white silk pussy bow blouse (who wears white silk on a flight? It's cotton all the way for me). It was one of those bizarre surreal moments when someones vulnerability is laid bare and I kinda wanted to look away but in the closed quarters of the fuselage that wasn't possible. Then, when we landed and checked into a hotel in South Beach, we went out with some of my husband's colleagues to a gay bar where transvestites performed. It was wild and memorable and funny and you know when you see someones vulnerability laid bare and there's no need to look away because they have grace (even though they're non-standard) and you get the feeling that they are all good? That. It was very cool way to spend my (jet-lagged) birthday. The rest of the time there we hunkered down on the beach like the sun-starved Brits we are and I marvelled again at the palm trees and the sand and the clear turquoise water. I told my long-suffering husband that I love Florida more than anywhere else.

Then home, then I had college for a few days. I have the book to finish and the weight of that eventuality is heavy right now. I am not working at a steady rate, there is so much else going on in my mind.

Times are tough with the teenage thing. I won't go into detail as honestly in the world of blogging, I think I am most definitely at a point where I have to respect my daughter's privacy. This is interesting to me as I apply this logic in the knowledge that she has a completely different perspective of privacy to my entire generation. Just last week I had to tell her to take something inappropriate down from Facebook. And it's not like I haven't given her that message before, I feel like I have been saying it ad nauseum since she was 12.

Anyway - this parenting gig, it's tricky. As I told my sister in law on Mothers Day (when I was the war-weary mother of a teen and she still has cute, blonde, cuddly little ones who go to bed at 7pm) that if this were a job, I'd be wanting to quit. I feel like I have written that before here - maybe in the last post - if so, I am sorry. See the title of this post - a gazillion thoughts, not enough time to process them.

It's the whirl of the end of term and my kids break up today. We are going skiing tomorrow.

On other less personal insights:

I follow, on recommendation from my daughter a variety of instagram feeds, for fullness and perspective - but these (here and here) are troubling me. It is no wonder young people have a completely warped view of life/relationships/body image if this is in their world. I am all for free speech and for expressing yourself but simply put: no one's life is like that. It's like perfection with a soft porn focus.

Can I just also say, whilst on this topic, that I spent about an hour in 'Victoria's Secret' the other day (pretending we were in an American mall but in fact it was dreary, grey Southampton!) and felt like the perfect images of the 'angels' on the wall were affecting my self esteem! WTF? These women are otherworldly. Impossibly perfect. I know I have had my time; hey, I am 42, but seriously, I would hate to work in that place. That way madness lies. Nice bras though. Never seen so many bras. And all with inch-thick bullet proof padding. Hmmm. Don't get me started on feminism today...

Do I sound grumpy?!

On a good note, my son faced his fears and went on a residential trip with his school that has been worrying him for six months. Lovely to pick him afterwards and my God I missed him.

My hair had gone inadvertently blonde. I am OK with this.

My daughter wrote an essay on modern marriage in Philosophy and got an 'A'. Discuss.

Watching the new series of 'Girls'. Wooaahh. It's pushing the boundaries.

My house is not yet finished, but getting there. One day it will all be done. Repeat.

I have been thinking about blogging and this place. I have been writing here for a long time and when I look back I see there are times I have written a lot and then less so. I always have it in my head as something I should do, and when I don't do it, I feel I have let you all down. But then I think back to how blogging used to be and how many people commented and read along and made friends and how now, there is so much less of that. I accept that fact and can see the trajectory of blogging alongside other media like instagram and pinterest which have taken the place of blogging. As time has gone on our attention span has diminished and so I wonder whether anyone actually reads blogs anymore? There is clearly a need to evolve and to play the game differently. I wonder whether I am too busy to play the game anymore? I figure I will pop up here when I can and if anyone is still left, I'll say 'hi'.

So 'hi!'.



15 comments :

  1. Oh, Lou! Please, please, please do not stop blogging! Your blog is the one I have continued to be faithful to ever since I discovered it.

    I think part of the problem with blogging is that it's been turned into a business with everyone vying for attention, and all using the same tried and tested tricks. The world does not need another '10 Ways' list on a blog, it needs more authentic writing about what life is really about (because I agree that those IG accounts are troubling, nobody has a perfect life although I'm almost less troubled by the people who pretend they do, than the fact that so many so willingly follow them) and that's what you give us with your writing; authenticity and therefore, connection - even if your readers never meet you.

    Another lady's writing I enjoy is Susannah Conway's - and she blogged recently asking that very question, "Is blogging dead?" So I thought you might enjoy not only the article, but to see all the comments in response. http://www.susannahconway.com/2016/03/is-blogging-dead/

    Have a lovely Easter. xx

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  2. It would be a sad day to find out you'd quit blogging. So, please don't.

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  3. I've only just come across your blog and love your style of writing- please don't quit. Xx

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  4. Hi Lou ..... I'm still here !! Being old !! I'm not sure I understand why people would move from blogging to Instagram and Pinterest. To me they are entirely different things. You are right though, blogging has changed and many have moved to other social media tools. I had a look at the Instagram feeds that you mentioned and linked to and found them quite sickening !! I found them self indulgent and narcissistic and I'm so glad that this wasn't available when our daughter was young ...... I don't envy parents of today .... it must be so difficult to know what your children are looking at. I find the bloody Kardashian's bad enough, let alone all of the other stuff !!!!
    On the subject of blogging, I think that we just have to embrace the change and go with it.
    A very Happy Easter to you and your family ..... I'm on the ' not buying anymore clothes for a while ' wagon !!!!! haha .... can't see it lasting very long !! XXXX

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  5. Yes, blogging has changed. Like Esther said, it has become commercial. I do read a few of those types of blogs on occasion, but the ones I follow religiously are like yours. Truthful and beautifully written.

    I'd much rather read about someone's real struggle/success than the "perfection" that is portrayed on the other types of blogs.

    I'm not on Instagram but I took a peek at those accounts - yes, that is extremely disturbing.

    Yes, the teenage years are hard...but hang in there. Once they get to the next phase it can be so rewarding.

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  7. I will still be dropping by. I don't post on my blog as often as I used to and I do wonder if folk visit anyway. I often feel guilt/remiss that I neglect my blog, however I remain loyal to it and those I follow so it stays. Have a fab Easter and skiing trip xx

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  8. Like everyone else who commented - don't stop blogging. It's always entertaining, interesting and it's REAL. I love you blog.

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  9. Hi!

    I like reading and not so much other social networks, which are only truncated pictures...

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  10. Oh Lou ~ don't ever stop writing. I think people are reading differently now and not commenting as much. I am the first one to put my hand up and say this is me ~ I read the majority of the blogs I follow on my phone via Bloglovin and the rare time I may comment is on an Instagram post for that person. There are times yes (like today) where I am sitting with the laptop where making a comment on the actual post is easier. There are times where I will read a post and log on later to comment as doing it on my phone is painful ~ not really but more work and time than I care to take. We have all changed since we started as fresh faced blogging girls but I cherish those times and the friendships I have made ~ it was time well spent. xo

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  11. I love your blog Lou. It would be so sad if you stopped.

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  12. What Beata said is exactly what I would write!
    I have been a quest on this blog for past few years - not sure how long ago it started - and it is a place that feels very good and familiar to me. (I think I might feel the same in a few years and same situations. So kind of life-inspiration?)
    I love the book? writing-project! (I guess it gives me some hope I might write a book sometime later too :-)

    Have a nice day!
    Tina

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  13. Hi Lou ..... I'm still here !! Being old !! I'm not sure I understand why people would move from blogging to Instagram and Pinterest. To me they are entirely different things. You are right though, blogging has changed and many have moved to other social media tools. I had a look at the Instagram feeds that you mentioned and linked to and found them quite sickening !! I found them self indulgent and narcissistic and I'm so glad that this wasn't available when our daughter was young ...... I don't envy parents of today .... it must be so difficult to know what your children are looking at. I find the bloody Kardashian's bad enough, let alone all of the other stuff !!!!
    On the subject of blogging, I think that we just have to embrace the change and go with it.

    http://kiza.vn/giay-nike/giay-nike-nu.html

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  14. Lou! I have been following your blog since the beginning and even though I am in a different stage of life (recently married and now pregnant with my first living in Australia) I adore your blog. I always check back in when I feel like 'catching up with a caring,warm friend' which is weird really as I don't know you. Please keep up the writing and your wonderful blog and thank you for all the wonderful life advise so far x

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