It was just a mission statement...

posted on: Monday, 20 April 2015

Daily, I think I could do with writing something here, in this virtual space. It's been ages, I am starting to feel guilty. I think of things I want to tell you. This is what non-bloggers will never fully understand about bloggers; there is a CONSTANT inner dialogue of stuff I want to write about. For you, the unknown reader. Or the known reader (as a handful are). I make mental checklists of things I should point out; what seem like sparkling, erudite observations that I make, concocted as I am in the shower or stuck in traffic. Then they slip past like a never-ending game of Pooh Sticks, I can never quite identify which was my stick. I read so much, I see so much, a visual smorgasbord of images and quotes and soundbites, I forget what I have personally thought and what I have read. A thought that might have belonged to someone else?


And so...where was I?

We went to Dubai - it seems like a long time ago now, much has happened. It is only the faint tan lines I see on my skin that are a testament to the (brutal) heat there. We had a great time. Staying with family, doing cool things, seeing new things. We travelled around a lot and left the bizarre desert metropolis of Dubai and went cross-country to the Indian Ocean. I had never been in the Indian Ocean before; a lovely moment. As a surprise for my daughter we saw 'One Direction' newly formed of four not five. And yes we still miss Zayn! I have written before about Dubai here, as this was out third trip there in recent years (both of my husband's siblings live there) so it's becoming a mainstay. I do feel very lucky that we can see these places and increasingly as we travel as a family, we are becoming more bold. It's a good feeling; to push past boundaries and try different things. Holidays are not about relaxing on a beach any more and I really like that.

This I know for sure though: when you marry in to a family, you gain a family. My brother in laws and sister in laws form our little unit, now all moved to Dubai. Visiting them is half lovely and half heartache as I realise how much I miss them. No matter how hard we try, it's hard to remain part of someone's life when they live in another country. So I left with a heavy heart and have pored over the photos more than once.

During the Easter holidays my son turned ten! Double figures! He is ten! I find this startling and comforting at the same time. I used to think, when he was born, that when he would be ten, my daughter would be nearly fourteen and I would be 41. And those numbers seemed impossibly far away then. Now they are here I am staggered at how fast the time went. So all those wise people who say it goes in the blink of an eye were right.

I feel like the Easter holidays were also an onslaught of teenager demands, to which I am struggling to keep pace. I gotta say: she's running rings around me! Trying ever so hard to stick to all of the resolve I have alluded to before here. I can honestly say that this stage of parenting has been (and remains) as demanding as the newborn stage. Have I said that before? I feel like I have, but maybe I just walk around thinking it? It's not as physcially exhausting but as a good friend pointed out to me today, 'It's a complete head-f**k. Yes. Quite.

I carry on.

Days are interspersed with internet hunts for spring wardrobe items - the perfect underdressed jumpsuit (a wardrobe staple: so say this stylish friend and this stylish friend). A white blazer. I pulled on my pale pink chelsea boots bought in Amsterdam last Autumn - but too pale to wear over winter - and it brought a smile. Yes, I am that person. I greet a new season like a new friend who I really want to buddy up with.

And of course my Pinterest obsession continues - what did I say about a visual smorgasbord??!! Any one who follows me there will see that I pin at 6am every morning, this is a telltale sign of my waking thoughts, surely?!

And finally I returned to yoga after a four week break - I can't tell you how good it felt and how hard it was. I honestly think everyone should do yoga. It is the answer to all. I had a major relapse in the pain I experience whilst I was not doing it (long story; dental issues, low-level, long term stress-related teeth clenching). I am not stressed for sure, but I am a person who holds stress. A sad truth. I am now thinking maybe I need hypnosis?! Rewiring in the way I react to things? Any thoughts? I am all ears...

It's good to be back.





6 comments :

  1. Excellent you have you back, missed your posts. So pleased you had a fab time with family in Dubai. X

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  2. Good to have you back. Yes to yoga!

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  3. Good to see you back here - I've been checking regularly! Lovely to hear of your travels and family time.
    Yoga is my saving grace right now, dealing with a 12 year old boy has me at my wits end many-a-day! The demands of homework at a new school, chauffeuring back and forth to track events and meeting with friends is a full time job! Loving your style pins of recent too.

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  4. It's so true, isn't it? That thought process of bloggers. I too think about so many things I want to share on my blog - when I'm driving, or in the shower, or on the train - and then when I finally get a few minutes to sit down in front of the computer...poof! Those thoughts seem to vanish and I'm at a total loss. There's got to be a better way. Maybe I need to start carrying a notebook around with me wherever I go.

    I know what you mean about the far-away family. I love visiting my family, and yet I leave with a heavy heart every time. It's so hard, and I'm so envious of people who have so much family close by. At the same time, I doubt we'd spend as much time and money traveling if we didn't want to go visit family everywhere. I'll choose to look at the positives, even when it hurts.

    Absolutely agree about yoga. I've managed a couple times a week this past month, and it's been wonderful. I feel worked and refreshed - body and mind.

    I love reading your thoughts about parenting in the teenage years (even though they scare me). "A complete mind-f&%k." HA! I'm still in the happy and uncomplicated little kid phase, and I am reminded to savor them and make them last as long as possible.

    It's great to see you pop up in my feed. I know I've been out of the blog world for a while, but I will get back into it. It's a kind of therapy for me, so I'll make it a priority.

    Happy Spring!
    Mary

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  5. For some reason hypnosis has been on my mind lately… I'm sort of fixated on it as a possible way of helping me deal with stress and therefore sleep (oh, sleep!) so will be really interested to see if you give it a try. Please write about it if you do :)
    And, if it's any consolation, 14 was the trickiest year for us. So breathe, and yay for yoga!

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  6. I always have a list of thoughts, tidbits, pictures, and links for future blog posts. I never get around to half of them. I'm trying to find more time for blogging. I miss it. It's therapeutic, even if it is just celebrities and pretty dresses.

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