How much do you really care about everyday things? I tell myself that I care what I wear each day, yet I most often put on gym kit in the morning, even if I am not training or running, just because it's easier for the school run. I invariably change later when there is more time, but the point is - some women would get up earlier and get it right the first time, wouldn't they? I go through stages of washing my hair the night before and sleeping on it. My daughter does this and emerges from her bedroom resembling Brooke Shields in 'Blue Lagoon'; I do it and look like Bon Jovi circa 1989. Do I care if my hair kinks? I say I love clothes and fashion but I frequently opt for comfort over style now that I am a stay-at-home-mum and there is an option between the two each day. Dog walks and heels don't match.
I have stages where I don't watch what I eat. Foods creep into my daily diet that frankly don't belong there. I spoke to a doctor friend of mine (I love that I have doctor friends; so clever and so knowledgeable!) about the risk of early-onset Diabetes. She explained that the sugar content of Western diets is at crisis levels and pointed out some ways to reduce it day to day. Not exactly new news; I understand the rationale, it's just that somehow I had stopped caring enough. Porridge for breakfast and a raw vegetable/salad lunch is really not that hard to achieve. It also seems to me that no matter what medical ailment you try to remedy with diet - the guidance is always the same. Less processed food and sugar, more fruit and vegetables, lean protein and pulses. More water. No caffeine and alcohol. So simple - but why so hard to stick to?!
I do care when it comes to buying stuff that is of bad quality. I have an major issue with cheap clothes that fall apart after one wear. It's just not worth it; not to mention that if the clothes are really that cheap - where were they made and by whom? I talk to my daughter about sweatshops when she comes home from town with items that cost £5. You get what you pay for.
I find I look back on myself in my twenties and wonder what on earth I did care about compared to now?! In ways that I can hardly fathom, I had so little to be concerned about, in reality. Those heady days of just being me, my studies or later on my graduate job, what to wear, who to go out with at the weekend. Simple times. Now there are so many things that I can hardly count them!
But in some ways I have let go of a lot of cares that used to plague me. Wondering who liked me and who didn't, and endless obsessing about my hair (OK, so really that was is still with me, just decreased!). It's true that as time passes you do get more comfortable in your own skin and more able to make judgements about life situations. It's uncanny how it happens; almost imperceptibly through your thirties until now...well now I am a matter of weeks away from my 40th birthday and I am full of these thoughts.
Did I mention I was turning 40? The mid-life crisis is in full swing! How long does this last? Does anyone know...by this time next year will I be through it?!