And she said 'me too'...

posted on: Monday, 6 January 2014

Thank goodness for the phenomenon of 'me too'. I wonder if that is what blogging is really all about; the need to express something and for others to say with a resounding whisper: 'me too!' Is that why we hate Internet trolls with such vehemence as they don't say 'me too'? They say the opposite and with vitriol thrown in. The remarkable effect of 'me too' was illustrated to me today. A dear and close friend of mine emailed me, as she often does, instigating an open-ended chat on 'stuff in general'. She asked how I felt about turning 40 - which I will in about two months time. I replied with a veritable angst-ridden email roar of woe saying, actually whilst in essence I am OK with it, there are also some mid-life-crisis moods hovering over me right now and they are not shifting.

...so should have learnt to surf when I was, like 20 (dude)...
My email left me wondering if I had been too negative, too self-indulgent, just too morose. I really ought to lighten up. Within an hour or so she came back with a reply that said to all intents and purposes: 'me too'. Not exactly the same issues but similar. Not exactly a solution but some suggestions of how to manage the crisis of mind. And at that moment my shoulders relaxed, shifted down a notch and I felt my day was better. I ask myself - what was that all about!? A problem shared is a problem halved? Why is it a comfort to me to know that she suffers too? Or is it that actually knowing that I am not alone in my daily neuroses is a comfort, pure and simple?

The declaration of 2014 resolutions keep pouring in and I see that we are all in the same boat, just out there trying to make sense of our lot in life. My lot is in good order right now and I see that what matters to me now is the following: health, love, kindred spirits and lightness. Even though this is the darkest of winters, I have to find the lightness in it, so I am hatching a plan. We all love a plan.

I think the 'me too' element also applies to kindred spirits and by that I mean the good, old fashioned 'Anne of Green Gables' kind. This is why Anne and Diana are such good friends. Kindred spirits. I am coming to realise that in all of my nearly 40 years, kindred spirits really don't come along that often. They seemed more plentiful in my 20's, they petered in my 30's and as for my 40's - who knows?! Maybe there are some lurking?

Meanwhile, it's a Monday, I am cooking bubble and squeak (left-over day), tomorrow one child (the pre-teen; saying 'child' just doesn't seem to describe the whirlwind that is my daughter) returns to school. The day after the other one. And then maybe life will resume its flow? Happy Monday :-)

...much more my style; use it for decor ;-) via french vouguettes

5 comments:

  1. Wow, this is so strange. I have been thinking about the whole "age" thing today. I remember rather dreading turning 30 but actually looked forward to the big 40! I was sort of ready for it. You will be fine, and you are SO right, having someone who "gets it" always lessens the anxiety. X

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  2. I don't there is anything better than hearing those words, we all need it to make sense of the crazy/scary/confusing moments that grip us from time to time. Goodness knows I've needed & continue to need that...as you know!!!!

    I've never worried about getting older....ever. I know I've said that to you before....BUT I do think someday that I will literally wake up & it will hit me like a ton of bricks & I'll cry for days & wonder where/what/when "it" happened LOL! Perhaps it's denial, who knows. We'll see....

    My children returned to school today....and so the year started to move forward. Am excited to see what it brings, of course I have a list....a short one & a longer one :)

    Finally, never worry about being "self-indulgent"...if it matters to you, then it will also matter to any friend you share it with.

    Happy New Year you gorgeous girl (yes, even at almost 40, you can still be a girl ;)), look forward to reading all about it Xx
    .

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  3. That Simone is so wise! I think we all need to hear that we are in the same boat rowing rowing rowing towards a common goal. 40 never bothered me ~ 25 did and looking back at it now makes me laugh. I am closer to the "other milestone" now and although today I feel somewhat like a kite in a harsh wind I know things will get better. Hugs to you xo

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  4. Kindred spirits are necessary - think how hard and lonely life would be without them. Yes, they aren't as plentiful as they were back in the days when we were young and still figuring out who we were going to be, but the ones you have now are the "true" kindred spirits because you both know who you are.

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  5. Did I really not comment on this post? Well certainly in my head I did. :-) You have such a way of writing, and saying so perfectly what so many of us feel. Or maybe I'm just truly one of those 'kindred spirits' that gets it. I'll say both. I understand what you're feeling about 40. Overall I feel really good about it, and yet there are things....like that nagging voice that keeps talking to me about what I should do with my life. I keep shushing it, but it's there. And I know it's going to start shouting louder as we move through this year. It scares me, to be perfectly honest. But I'm trying to take it one day, one week at a time. Planning. Yes of course we love a plan. I hope you had a good week, with the kids back in school. Have a wonderful weekend too!

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