Things I wish I'd known...

posted on: Thursday, 18 April 2013


via elsa may
That I should have studied Law and to hell with the fact that I thought I might not be clever enough. Turns out I was.

That perming my hair, circa 1987, in order to look like my friend who had natural curls, would be a huge, split-end-making extravaganza of a mistake.

That being tall is good. You can see more.

That it's so worth reading the small print.

That it will pass - no matter how scary it seems right now.

That when friends and family move to other countries, I will still miss them every day, even though I know they are probably never going to live here again.

That sitting in a windowless office in front of a laptop for the best part of fifteen years was never going to be health-enhancing.

That floristry would have been a good career choice.

That all of the hesitation I had about opening my soul through writing this blog was...actually unfounded.

That no matter how much I really do care what other people think, I really shouldn't give a shit.

That on a day in 1992 when he cooked for me and cut his hands shucking oysters, I was lucky enough to have found a keeper. For reals.

That even when I have the very best intentions, I can still mess it up.

That I should trust my instincts nevertheless.

That sometimes it comes around again, despite my assertions that it's in the past. And that is how it goes.

That there is always, always someone worse off than me.

That I could have saved myself years of worry, money and experimentation with over-agressive skincare products. For me, washing with water and applying oil works best.

That seeing your girl go off to school looking effortlessly chic and sweet at the same time is utterly heart-warming. Every day.

That my son, who is just like my husband, does indeed have some of my traits; like a killer vocabulary and an imagination to rival Anne of Green Gables.

via elsa may

The social medium...

posted on: Thursday, 11 April 2013

Paula, my friend/business partner/fully paid-up member of Lou's 'general compass to the world' told me that she had read an article about mothers and social media. The gist was that there were perils in social media to modern mothers; that women like me (us?) relied on contact through Facebook and such like to maintain friendships, but that crucially those friendships were insufficient. I get the sentiment of this observation. I often consider how as recently as the 1990's no one even had a phone let alone existed through it like some sort of cyborg. I can recall, the week I graduated university, that we sat in a Bristol pub and significantly: two mobile phones were placed on the table. The modern equivalent of throwing down the gauntlet. Look at me; I can communicate when out and about. This was so revolutionary! I can also recall at about the same time, my husband's (then boyfriend) brick-sized mobile phone was stolen from his car overnight. Little did we know how vital the item was that it would be searched out in an empty car, like an open wallet.

But social media is so important - beyond important; it is defining in a way that nothing has been before. In every element of life.

via pretty stuff
I read blog posts like this and rejoice - at last some understanding of the modern mother as she goes about her day. Some recognition of the fact that iphones have facilitated life in a way that was unimaginable even a few short years ago.

But I also consider that on a weekly basis friends of mine text me and say 'I read the blog - whassup?' or 'I read the blog; wow I didn't know that about you'. I find myself wishing that all of my friends wrote blogs as it would make it so much easier to keep up with what everyone is doing. It's an extension of Facebook which delivers holiday photos and status updates. Blogs go into the wider picture. Yet a blog post does not come close to a telephone conversation or...heavens above...to meet face to face.

I am sure that as social media has burgeoned, many friends have ceased meeting up or speaking. I don't really know what to do with that piece of information. I know that the gnawing feeling that I miss my oldest friends does, at times, surge up in the realisation that we no longer speak or meet (enough or at all). Yet somehow we are connected; through email or another app that enables us to cross each others' paths as the days go by.

But whether it's a help or a hindrance, I can not imagine life without social media. It would be a place that was not enriched. I am reliant on all of these methods of communication; not least when Boo posts a 'selfie' on Instagram and I get a little window into her world when she is away from me for the day. You can't knock progress, it is a tidal wave that we can not hold back, so we must embrace it; but knowingly.

via here