posted on: Thursday, 12 December 2013

Thank you so much for the comments to my last post. It never fails to amaze me how blog land can deliver kindred spirits from nowhere; droplets of wisdom and the sentiment of 'me too' that soothe my addled mind. Somehow, knowing that others feel the same helps. As does the assertion that what I write here is the territory of 'everywoman'. I like everywoman - she's a friend of mine.

She likes going to bed before 9pm in flannel pyjamas. But she also likes dressing up, wearing heels and pretending like she's 25 again. She is wise and knows her own mind. She reads. She absorbs. She notices the details. She rolls with the punches and picks herself up afterwards.

In what will now be remembered as 'the-most-challenging-parenting-month-so-far' I look back and see that life really does pack some punch when she wants to. My husband and I have exchanged looks this week imploring each other to shoulder the burden. You don't realise when you have babies that they will grow up to become your whole life and that life will throw all sorts at both of you. You do it together. We realised this week that we make a good team. Even if half of the discussions had to take place by conference call from Germany, where he was.

Nothing happened that I will recount here for I am becoming increasingly aware of my children's privacy - after all, for all I know my daughter or her friends could be reading this. I think it's all going to be OK though. I have thought a lot about our family and what our values are. What spoken and unspoken codes we hold true and how they are being passed down. I think of my upbringing and how my Mum gently guided me, as she still does now, with a serenity and patience that I only hope I can emulate.

As I have said before; parenthood is a marathon, not a sprint.

Meanwhile this 'everywoman' deals with the every day. The pup needs to go to the vet. The laundry needs doing. The presents need wrapping. The minutiea of life falls to me. I read recently that the reason women my age are so tired (tiredness is the new epidemic, right?) is that they carry so much in their heads all the time. Each little event needs to be stored and managed. This accounts for the fogginess that descends on me sometimes. I am sure I used to be better at organisation?!

I went for a run today. Sometimes running is like penance and I struggle to complete even a few kilometres. Today, I could have run and run and run. So even though my mind is full to overflowing, the body was willing. The endorphins afterwards carried me through the day. And now, as I type this, my kids are eating pasta (staple diet), there is a glass of wine for me (or two) and a fish dinner later, Ellie Goulding is playing on the iphone and despite everything, I must remember that life is good.

via brown dress with white dots


  1. I have been thinking about this today - having so many things in my head (too many?) that sometimes I don't find the space to concentrate on what I really want to do.
    But as you said, life is good. Lots of love, Dxx

  2. This is so true ! lately its been pouring ! but still other things need to be done things that I feel like I need to do 1. because if I dont they will sit there longer than I want them too and 2. maybe because I think it will bring me joy in some way its hard to just realize what you have life is good even if sometimes we just dont understand all the bad things that might seem bigger

    Simply Sutter

  3. I'm a fairly new follower - which will explain why I haven't commented much - but as one wiser mother once said to me, "this is just a phase" - which blew my mind; because I'd never realized that parenthood was exactly that....a series of phases - you just have to get through each one individually.

    And yes, Blog land. It is a wonderous place where we happen upon kindred spirits, those that lift us up and those that make us laugh, and those that make us cry, and those that say "me too."

  4. You are wonderful! (I visit your blog every day)
    Love, Daniela

  5. Glad to hear you're on the up my love - life throws up many challenges and as you say, sometimes the tiredness of just think about every minute detail can be exhausting. Let alone wondering why everyone else is getting the Holiday Party invites and we're not! For the first time in eons (since I left the corporate world in fact), I got to go to Mr's party this year. Out came the sequin trousers and high heels, but you know what, it was so nice to get home at 11.00pm (getting old!), take off the heels and slump on the sofa!
    Media (and bloggers) are very good at portraying how you should spend the perfect holiday season but its all smoke and mirrors. Pretty to look at, ok to aspire to in sensible amounts (i.e not very much) but not really real. That said, I am growing concerned as to how fast my Gwyneth Paltrow obsession is growing!
    I loved how you wrote this post and the things you said. I think it contains so many things that I would happily aspire to.
    Lots of love. A xxx
    p.s. I thought an 8 year old girl was hard work - I'll be coming to you for advice down the line! xxx

  6. This phase won't last forever but I always told my children that we have our rules and values and they are what works for us. I do agree running/ exercise gets rid of a lot of my stress I often say the name of the person who is causing me issues in my mind in the spinning class. It makes me go faster and also helps my mind.

  7. What a lovely post, dear Lou.
    Sorry for not having written lately. However I always find the time to read your blog, which I am very fond of.
    Would like to wish you a wonderful Christmas and a very Happy New Year.

    Warm Christmas hug, Manuela xx

  8. wise words indeed....easily said not easily remembered on cold dark dank winter days.......but it's blue outside this morning and only 9 hours till cocktail time!!!