The vernacular...

posted on: Friday, 20 September 2013

I've gone into Autumnal overdrive. Mere weeks have passed since I was sunning myself in Portugal and I am grasping the change of seasons with both hands; I love living in a temperate climate. A side effect of this is that I have shopped way too much (you saw the signs: recent musings on style and shoes). I am beyond guilt sweats as frankly everything is settled in my mind by the assertion that: I deserve it. Even if I don't. Hah!

via crush cul de sac
Meanwhile I am feeling rather pleased with myself for cooking batches of stewed apple from the garden, lentil dhal and shepherd's pie. My freezer is full. This makes me feel happy and replete.

The fields where I walk the pup have gone from sun-baked, cracked earth to the more familiar sodden territory that I now trudge a round, in my wellies. Usually cursing the fact that I have a (sometimes) long-haired dog whose paws are clogged with mud.

Sometimes here I write about the fact that I have pain in my teeth and jaw - it's been a long running saga, entering its fourth year soon - but a lot of the time, I don't want to mention it. This is because it smacks to me of the kind of blogging self-regard that I struggle with. People visit a blog to see lovely images and to read sparkling prose; I am dubious about their interest in the real, grainy, non-sepia-tinted life of me. The pain went undiagnosed for a long time and is now subject to the kind of modern google-inspired self-diagnosis that is just so tricky. It feels like tooth ache but is actually a muscular/trigger point issue - I am loosing you now aren't I?! It's a multi-faceted thing, as complicated as can be with no clear rhyme or reason. I have learnt to live with it, as people live with back pain and such like. A lot of the impetus for me to make recent life changes has come from devising a way to manage this pain. I subscribe to the view that if you want a different outcome, you need to do stuff differently. It's not sophisticated but it's where I am at right now.

So the pain goes on; there are good days and bad days. There is no quick fix. But occasionally I have to write about it, as I feel to leave it out would be dishonest. This is me.

Meanwhile I am, day by day, still revelling in my freedom. This week alone:

Books read: 2
Beds made: not many
Morning runs, dew on the grass: 2
Massages: 1
Yoga classes: 1
Alexander Technique lessons: 1
Glasses of wine consumed: 5 (maybe 6?!)
Blogs read: many...
Dog walks: 9
Swear words: 7
You tube clips watched: 3
Hours 'wasted' on Pinterest: countless ;-)
Minutes spent considering how the word 'bitch' has entered the vernacular: 2
Regrets: none

Have a happy weekend :-)


8 comments :

  1. Love this post Lou. Your joy at your new-found freedom literally jumps of the screen. So happy for you xx
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  2. Sounds like a perfect week! I'm sorry to hear you are still having pain. My husband has chronic pain in his elbows, and I completely understand what it must be like for you. It is such a part of who he is, it would be hard to him to share his life, and not that part of it. I hope for you it eases...

    I have to tell you how much I've loved having you in my blogroll every day! I always kick myself at night for forgetting to come back and comment, as I am usually reading your beautiful words while running around during the day, and never get a chance to get a full sentence out before we have to hit the car.

    I remembered you mentioning something about US travel. I would most definitely suggest Boston! If only so we can meet and do some in person shopping ;)

    I am so happy you are enjoying your time at home. It certainly has its ups and downs, but I too have no regrets and I'm 6 years out!

    xx

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  3. I know you have tried everything, but I find this video helpful. It was from Louise Hay's recent World Summit.
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZLzl0hdf8Os

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  4. I adore that list Lou ~ wish you could find the cause of that pain once and for all so they can treat it. Hope you had a lovely weekend. xo

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  5. Love the Dorothy Draper quote. And yes, I agree. You should share your pain, it's real. It's (unfortunately) what you've got to cope with. I'm just so sorry to hear there are no clear answers right now. But it's so good to hear how you're enjoying your newfound freedom from the corporate world.

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  6. I'm so sorry you're still struggling with the pain, and I do hope you're able to find something that works for you. In the meantime, it's wonderful to hear you sound relaxed and happy in the pleasures of home. Yoga, reading, cooking, walking...it's a beautiful life.

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  7. Dear Lou,
    I am sorry to read that the pain still continues and that part of your experience in Portugal was not so positive. I hope you visited some of the places I recommended...
    Love the list you wrote :)

    Have a wonderful and pain free weekend, Manuela xx

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  8. Hi,

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