I have to spend this time looking forward as I have a fresh start next week. However I instinctively want to look back at the last half-year. A disquiet is growing in me about how it will feel to work again, but I know deep down that I am just being my normal self; processing the new and throwing in a good dose of worry, as I an inclined to do! It does feel bittersweet though - I have had the best time planning and growing my new business and being a full time mother and now I need to get back to reality.
This week Boo was doing a cross country run that was for the selection for the county team. She started at an über-sporty school last September and only now, after four months is she starting to get noticed. She's no Jessica Ennis but she can run and swim and play netball well. I am utterly attached the idea that she plays sport. I feel like it's Become Important - in the way that things do. If she plays in a team it eases her way socially, it gets her out at weekends, it fosters a feeling of achievement if she does well. It grows her confidence. These things can only be good. I must admit, watching her run this week I was so proud; not so much because I wanted her to win, although that would have been fab, but because she was out there doing it. Blonde pony tailed, mud-spattered, on a chilly, god-forsaken puddle-covered cross country course. C'mon Boo...
Meanwhile for me this week, the dreaded curse of post-Christmas extra poundage has made itself known. I could not fit any of my jeans. Trip to town to remedy situation was equally as depressing as I struggled to squeeze myself in. I find this odd: I have never been fitter and I train a lot, practice yoga daily. I don't look any different, but the truth is; in some shops, even the largest sizes were snug. Hmmm. I have to say also - whilst I love outfits on Pinterest and those fantastic fashion blogs, the girls are sooo slim, I am thinking they don't experience the sqqueeeeeeze that I had in the fitting room!
Suddenly I have a million and one things to do before I go back to work and home life has become slightly fraught. My son has had a challenging week at school, where he has found friends to be lacking, and my heart has been aching each day. Nothing like that split second at school pick up when you can tell if your child has had a good day just from one glimpse of their demeanour.
I'm hoping a weekend break will soothe him and me before next week's challenges :-)