Who knew how bittersweet this would taste?

posted on: Friday, 1 February 2013

I have to spend this time looking forward as I have a fresh start next week. However I instinctively want to look back at the last half-year. A disquiet is growing in me about how it will feel to work again, but I know deep down that I am just being my normal self; processing the new and throwing in a good dose of worry, as I an inclined to do! It does feel bittersweet though - I have had the best time planning and growing my new business and being a full time mother and now I need to get back to reality.

This week Boo was doing a cross country run that was for the selection for the county team. She started at an ├╝ber-sporty school last September and only now, after four months is she starting to get noticed. She's no Jessica Ennis but she can run and swim and play netball well. I am utterly attached the idea that she plays sport. I feel like it's Become Important - in the way that things do. If she plays in a team it eases her way socially, it gets her out at weekends, it fosters a feeling of achievement if she does well. It grows her confidence. These things can only be good. I must admit, watching her run this week I was so proud; not so much because I wanted her to win, although that would have been fab, but because she was out there doing it. Blonde pony tailed, mud-spattered, on a chilly, god-forsaken puddle-covered cross country course. C'mon Boo...

Meanwhile for me this week, the dreaded curse of post-Christmas extra poundage has made itself known. I could not fit any of my jeans. Trip to town to remedy situation was equally as depressing as I struggled to squeeze myself in. I find this odd: I have never been fitter and I train a lot, practice yoga daily. I don't look any different, but the truth is; in some shops, even the largest sizes were snug. Hmmm. I have to say also - whilst I love outfits on Pinterest and those fantastic fashion blogs, the girls are sooo slim, I am thinking they don't experience the sqqueeeeeeze that I had in the fitting room!

Suddenly I have a million and one things to do before I go back to work and home life has become slightly fraught. My son has had a challenging week at school, where he has found friends to be lacking, and my heart has been aching each day. Nothing like that split second at school pick up when you can tell if your child has had a good day just from one glimpse of their demeanour.

I'm hoping a weekend break will soothe him and me before next week's challenges :-)


Have a wonderful weekend!

6 comments:

  1. Good luck as you reenter your working life. I can understand the anxiety, but that's just the typical anxiousness that comes with any transition. I'm glad you had the opportunity to take a break and enjoy some time at home and with L'Apothecary (I need more facial oil, by the way!). I'll look forward to hearing how it's all going. Have a happy, relaxing, and refreshing weekend!

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  2. hope all goes well next week for you & your son.
    enjoy the week-end.

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  3. Yes, good luck with working life, I'm reminded of a funny quote, 'the trouble with the rate race is that even if you win, your still a rat!'.

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  4. My son also had a tough week at school. Here's hoping to a restful weekend and a fresh new week to look forward to and move onwards.

    So right about the sports. From seeing other friends with older children than my own, I notice that those children that take part in a sport - whether a team of individual - are more grounded, socially connected, rarely in any 'trouble', busy enough and of couse fit and healthy. It's definitelyt the way to go.

    Wishing you all the best with 'back to work' next week.

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  5. Wishing you a smooth transition as you return to work Lou. Getting Boo into sports and that she is enjoying it sounds like it will open up some doors and conversations for her. The social aspect for the kids are so hard as I am going through drama with my niece on a regular basis and it breaks my heart. When they are young they wear their hearts on their sleeve and you just want to cocoon them forever! Hugs to you ~ have a good week. xo

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  6. YES i love that boo is playing sport! it is the best thing in the world (i think) for a girl to play competitive sport while growing up. I played really competitive netball up until I was 18 (then went skiing) and it was the best thing in the whole entire world. I think back to when i playing 6 days a week - all day saturday and sunday - and my parents were there watching every single game. i can't imagine giving up my weekends to watching young non-professional netball haha. But it was incredible playing in multiple teams, taking it seriously as it meant later on, in those pesky teenage years of peer pressure you can see past it all :) sport really is the best!

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