Ooops...

posted on: Saturday, 27 October 2012

Oops - where did that week go?! One minute it was Monday morning and the next, I was hunkering down for Friday night. Speaking of Friday nights; Boo went to a neon-themed disco last night (sporting a pink 80's tutu skirt) with her new school friends. I dropped off at the door, did not get out of the car, drove away thinking that things seem to have moved on. She got dropped home after 9.30pm. I sense that this is the shape of things to come; no longer does the family move as one unit. Their needs and wants are becoming more independent. And my Friday night spent waiting to hear about what a great time she had. Anyway...

...simple is beautiful; swedish summerhouse via dust jacket attic...
It has been half term and it continues next week so most days have been spent walking at the beach, running child-friendly errands, play dates, a disproportionate amount of time in the car, battling with local traffic. Also a glimpse into the future; relentless dropping off, picking up.

I have come to realise that one side effect of my not working is that everything is possible, I say 'yes' to almost all requests, from whatever source, to use up time in the day. Whereas before I would always shy away, say 'no', edit my time ruthlessly; now I am open to wherever the day takes us. I notice though that it's easy to become swamped by arrangements, many of which suit others more than me. I find myself agreeing to things that I needn't, because I can. I need to learn at-home assertiveness. I had it down pat at work, in meetings, with regards to my professional place in the world. But as a stay-at-home-Mum, I am learning.


A realisation this week also - to do with our house. Over time we have, I must admit, fallen out of love with it. I could look back on past blog posts of our home, peppered with pretty pictures of apples in the garden and lavender love seats. In so many ways, this farmhouse is a country idyll. However over time, the very antiquity of it has become draining. There are shabby corners, structural issues, parts of the house don't 'work' for family life. As a cottage, there are bottlenecks and places where the stuff of family life gathers.

I also got envious. And self-conscious. A handful of visits to much grander homes of others made me regard my own with different eyes. I am curious about this; house one-up-man-ship. I didn't think I would fall foul of it, but in actual fact, I am shame-faced to admit: I have. The thing is, I am not usually the type to look at others and yearn for what they have. I am generally pretty comfortable in my own skin.

So - this week, after much discussion, we have decided we need to have a fresh look at our home and plan, long term, to make it work better for us. This will involve big building work and lots of change but in the long run, it will continue the farmhouse love story that started about eight years ago when we moved here.


So, you see it's all home and family-focused and that's why I have been absent for a week. I hope you've all been OK in the meantime :-) Nice to be back.

5 comments:

  1. Mmm sounds exciting to me ... would love to see/hear the progress. Thanks so much for the linkup too xxx Have a fab weekend

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  2. Your post made me chuckle. I can empathise on all fronts. Yes Lou you will now become an unlicensed taxi, that is just how it is, they grow and you drive! Also your comments on your home resonated so much with me, but I am heartened that you are seeking to make your current home work for the future. After all, sometimes the familiar just needs a bit of "tweaking" for it to evolve. Take the memories you have entrusted and invested in your home and let it enter a new chapter, rather like the adjustments your family is making. Maybe your house is growing up like your children. Good Luck, I have no doubt you will succeed, I look forward to following your progress.

    Love xxxx

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  3. No need to apologize for being away ~ it's a funny thing called life! I am also discontented with my home ~ it does not reflect me so I am taking the bull by the horns and choosing paint and a new couch for the living room. Wish me luck!

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  4. WOW. It looks super comfy right there! the perfect spot for reading book!

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  5. Sounds very exciting. Hope you share your refurbishment journey on your blog ;-)

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