Letter to myself...

posted on: Wednesday, 21 March 2012

Dear Louise,

This life balance you're trying to find...I'm not sure it's ever going to stay for long. It is like an elusive will'o-the-wisp; just when you think you have it all figured out, you realise (usually too late) that in fact it's no more pinned down than a feather on the breeze. Just let it go.

photograph by natasha
All that musing over whether you care what people think: accept that you do. At the very core of you is a thing called pride and you care what people think of you because their disapproval chips away at your pride. You pride yourself on all sorts of abstract things; you build lists of things, always adding to it, never taking away. These range from manners to home tidiness to integrity to good hair - none of which are possible to maintain all of the time!

This new-found selfishness you've developed; it's been a long time coming. But know the flip side: sometimes being selfish leads to conflict and you should consider whether it's worth it. Putting yourself first is, in the modern age, deemed to be the 'right' thing. Look after number one. But putting yourself first means others may suffer along the way. This will make your heart ache in a way you had not expected. Either learn to live with the ache or reconsider your selfish urges.

photograph by natasha
Your bittersweet sentimentality is your strength and your downfall in one. Those rose-tinted spectacles make you fiercely protective of your past, your history and those who played a role in it. But this nostalgic view of life may hold you back. You must learn to embrace change! Your encyclopedic memory of events is useful when the need to recall a little-known but well-remembered conversational point arises, but otherwise it serves to clog up your everyday with memories. Let those memories be infused with new stuff; it will make them richer and it's OK to let them live in the background.

photograph by natasha

No, you are not as skinny as you used to be. Who is?! A strong, healthy body is better than a body that weighs what you feel it should. This is hard for you to accept as you've always been slim with no effort. This is what is making the effort doubly hard now; you feel your body has changed without your permission. I have a feeling that happens a lot as we grow older; an unalterable fact of life.

Cherish your best friend. She's brought more to your life than even you can admit.

Love Lou x

11 comments:

  1. Inspired. You have a rare gift.....YOU.
    Look after it and most of all trust yourself.

    xxx

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  2. Sometimes it's uncanny how alike we think and feel. beautiful post.

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  3. As usual...yes, yes, yes. Balance, acceptance, selfishness... My body is changing on me and I do not like it! But...I suppose it is a fact of life and one that I need to accept. It is going to be a little harder from here on out. Off to do some body work now...

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  4. Beautiful post, dear Lou.
    Shouldn´t we accept ourselves as we are? I know that sometimes it is easier said than done but to be true to ourselves is very important in order to have peace, don´t you think?
    Have a nice day! Warm hug, Manuela

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  5. I loved this. So real. I love bloggers like you - who are real. Thanks for the last bit of info about a healthy body. Have a wonderful day!

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  6. Wow Lou. You could have written that letter for me, it really is so touching. I recently read something that I'm trying to remind myself of everyday - I'm sure that you've heard it before, but it's how we spend our 20's caring what everyone else thinks about us, we spend our 30's not caring what everyone thinks about us, and then in our 40's we realise that nobody was really thinking about us as much as we thought anyway! What I take from that is that we're our own worst judge. Everyone else accepts us as we are - hips 'n all! Warmest wishes xx

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  7. Oh Lou....you've been sounding so optimistic and I wonder what's happened to change that :(

    It's so interesting to me that I seem to totally accept myself in every single way....whereas you are so hard on yourself. And I only say that because we've had so many conversations about ourselves & so I hope it's okay for me to say that to you. Maybe I should be a little tougher on myself....but I just don't think that's the way to be. You have so many fantastic qualities and are so able that it makes me a little sad to hear you like this.

    Is it really selfishness....or is it just clarity of thought & suddenly discovering a vision of which direction you really want to go in? I don't know. Maybe I'm just biased but you are such a thoughtful and considered person that I find it almost impossible to see you as selfish.

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  8. you have a beautiful way with words! these are definitely thoughts that most of us wrestle with on a daily basis. i learned early on that accepting myself the way i am is so much easier on me and less stressful.

    warm greetings!
    leyla.

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  9. oh Lou, such a lovely post. so touching.
    I’m giving away a leather and sterling silver jewelry piece this week. Don't miss it, darling!

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  10. I adore this post Lou ~ so raw and real ~ I think you should listen to that girl ~ she has made a lot of good points ~ ones that I can see in myself as well and that scares me a bit. Hugs & Love to you. xo

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  11. This is lovely. Also I read somewhere that putting yourself first is not bad, you look after yourself so that you are best able to look after others. I need to remember this. Thank you for sharing this. x

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