About love...

posted on: Friday, 24 February 2012

It's funny how life goes. Six months ago, my husband was working every hour God sent, coming home rarely and when he did, in a completely stressed state. Now, he is 'in between jobs' and has had a few months off. The change to our life has been incredible, notable, ridiculously good. I've learnt that sometimes life lessons happen without warning and how you choose to react is the most important thing. Life experience makes you more resilient; more able to judge that all things are temporary. More able to make out the good from the bad. What we thought was a bad thing has turned out to be a miraculous thing; a lifeline no less.

via better than fine
Meanwhile, I look back on decisions we made in our twenties and am staggered how short-sighted we were! There is something about being that age, with everything is ahead of you, positively rushing to leave your childhood behind and become adult. We took on responsibilities like they were tokens to collect in a computer game. But of course over time, those very tokens took on a weighty character and now, every once in a while we have to remind ourselves not to take life so seriously.

Whilst we are not exactly old now, we have been together, side by side, for a long time, given that I was just 18 when we became a couple. I see that in marriage, you have to look to your side every now and then and ask if that person is still the one. What I have enjoyed about this downtime we are experiencing is that I've looked to my side and I love that he's still there. I love that twenty year old songs remind me of him as much as his latest download song, circa 2012. I love that we look largely the same as we did the day we met, just with some deeper laughter lines, slightly less hair (him) and a slightly larger bottom (me). I love that we still laugh. A lot. I love that life has dealt us cards that have tested us, but not broken us.

I read a blog where the (rather gifted) writer Megan often hypothesises about what her future husband and/or family life will be like; in particular a post about a kitchen table that heaved under the weight of a life lived. I read her words and think: I am living this life; I am there. If I had had a crystal ball, would I have chosen the life I have now? Would I have even recognised myself twenty years fast forward? Impossible to say, but as marriages creak and sometimes fail around us I just feel grateful that I made that choice and that it stuck. I'd like to think this one is a keeper :-)


  1. You write beautifully and I absolutely loved this post. My husband and I are twenty-somethings and often feel the pressure to take on those adult responsibilities. It can be hard to convince yourself that it's okay to just be young and not take life too seriously - we're always looking to the next step. One thing that has helped us greatly is moving abroad. If we were back home I'm sure we'd be thinking about a house and kids and this is forcing us to really just live life right now, which has been amazing :) Anyways, just really loved this post and it's so nice to hear about married couples still madly in love after the "honeymoon" phase!

  2. Hi Lou. What a beautifully written post. You really have a way with words! I love that line about life dealing you cards that have tested but not broken you. And even though these last few months have been an unexpected curve ball, how wonderful that it gives you the chance to recognize all that you have. My husband and I have been married 23 years, and like you, I'm still happy to see him alongside me too. Especially given that so many of our friends marriages have fallen by the way. The ability to laugh together is nothing to be taken for granted!
    Amanda x

  3. What a beautiful post. It made me smile. I'm so happy you're still with the one for you, and so happy that I am too! Going through the battles and bumps of life definitely serve to remind us to look at the one we've chosen to ride with us.

    ps - I love Megan's blog as well, and I had the same thought at that post. I am there. It can be messy, but I am so grateful to be there.

  4. if this isn't the perfect post to take with me into the weekend then I don't know what is ... sitting here with my hubby for almost 14 years, sipping red wine and knowing he's still the one ;-)

    Have a wonderful weekend!

  5. Such a beautifully written post Lou, you two are so lovely together :) I am glad that life's latest twist & turn has worked out well for you - and that you've been positive about it and seen it as a good thing - something not always very easy to do.

    It's interesting when we meet people isn't it.....you met your husband so early on whereas I met mine after Uni, after travelling, after working and studying abroad. I did it all, came back to England & knew I was ready for someone!! And I wouldn't have been ready a second earlier. And when I found him, I held on to his heels like a terrier....as he likes to tell me ;)

    Love the "kitchen table" blog :)

    Happy Week-end!! X

  6. Great post and reflection. Enjoy "keeping your keeper!"

  7. Lou, just loved how you expressed yourself in this post, so well written. Thanks so much for sharing "round the table" with us girls.

  8. A beautiful reflection on love and life. It is so easy to get caught up in other things and forget what is truly important. I consider my husband my best friend, my companion, my compass, but most of all the best thing that ever happened to me.

    Sal x

  9. Dear Lou

    Thank you for the most beautiful post. The way you write is pure magic and it both made me smile and brought tears into my eyes. Smile because I am very happy to see that you and your husband have such a great relationship, cry because, unfortunatelly, that was not the way it went for me... Please, keep on writing. Blowing a kiss from the North, Manuela.
    P.S. Could you please tell me the name of the blog you read?

  10. Hi again, Lou
    I´ve just noticed the link to the blog you mentioned. Warm hug, Manuela

  11. I adore this post Lou ~ I love that you still feel that way about your man ~ it's not just about still loving that person but being in love with them still is the key and you got it! Wanting to grow old with that person is priceless. xo

  12. This is beautiful. I hope to be there in ten or twenty years with M. I also think we might have been rushing the way you described, and think making time for fun now is a gift and one I am glad you reminded me of (not that I think we should stop making time for fun together in the future).

  13. Oh Lou - I adored this post. I am sometimes in danger of being cynical about marriage, although I do admire keenly the good ones I witness. What an enchanting, gentle validation. Hurrah for you both. :)

  14. Hello Lou,

    What a post for reflection! And so very timely, too, as my boyfriend and I just celebrated our Anniversary. We spoke of how the years have brought us to a different place, and after all, we are so happy and appreciate one another tremendously... your love sounds so special and beautiful, and your words and appreciation, and truth, are a wonderful example.

    Hope you are enjoying a lovely weekend!


  15. A great post. You expressed so much in your words.

  16. Many people aren't as lucky. This is beautiful.


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