Day of doubt...

posted on: Tuesday, 29 March 2011

If ever I doubt my 'working mother' choice it's on a Tuesday. As I have Mondays off, Tuesday is my Monday. Back to work after a lovely long weekend; the stark contrast between my home days and work days on full show. The school run slightly more stressy due to high heels. The drive to work an attempt to empty my mind of home actions and focus on work actions. The meetings where I realise with a little shiver shock of guilt that I have thought of neither child for hours. The email inbox mounting up all the while.

via a lady's findings from things is cool
Then at the end of the work day, the commute back, the school pick-up late and getting tired. We reach home, I change into my home evening uniform of comfies. Immediately as we enter the house I am tidying up from our hasty departure that morning; simultaneously clearing porridge bowls and cooking their evening meal. Swift cuppa tea, homework and re-stocking school bags (make an Easter Bonnet out of recycled materials to be brought to school the day after tomorrow! Ugh the extra curricular activity that is the bane of the working mother's life). I try to maintain some semblance of happy motherly mealtime, knowing that once their meal is done and they are in bed, I will do it all again for my husband's return home. This is modern life. I know there are ways I could do it that would be easier - I could let the house be a mess, I could eat with the kids and let him fend for himself when he gets home. But for me that kinda misses the point...

I get the stage in the evening when I long for some time to just reflect on the day. I want to catch up on blogs and watch trashy TV. To enjoy a glass of wine when he gets home.

But then, as it all dies down and I consider the prospect of a day off work tomorrow (I do love being part time) I come to the conclusion it's just Tuesdays. I have enormous empathy for working mothers who work full time; where every day represents my Tuesday. My heart goes out to you and my hat goes off to you. With no condesedence inferred. I know every household has its hardships and its gems of goodness, time to enjoy the goodness in mine.

via a lady's findings from ornamelle

15 comments:

  1. Great post! Love your honesty, thanks for sharing this,
    Maureen x

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  2. Oh, I feel for you. I have no children, but I can so relate to how different my health - mental and physical - differs when it comes to work days and days off.

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  3. Oh wow this is so perfect. I can feel your struggle, because it is my own, and I am one of those who face a Tuesday every day, since I'm full-time. I work from home a couple days a week though, so my brutal days are the ones where I have to go into the office. The commute, the heels, the morning/evening routines... I know it so well. I struggle with this so much and wish there were an easier answer, but I continue to fight for balance week by week, day by day...

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  4. hey friend! wow! great post! i am tired just reading about your tuesdays! you are good! xo

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  5. I hear your lamentations as I, too, used to juggle all of this. The home, the kids, the husband, all are far more important than work will ever be. However. Tuesdays are Tuesdays. So much better to work 1/2 time than full time, isn't it? I, too, commend the women who do it all! xo Marsha

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  6. Lou,

    I sympathise with you on this issue. I have worked for two days a week until recently and am currently having a break from the working grind. I am in such a happy place and relaxed place and really just enjoying the extra time spent with my children.


    As my two are not of school age, the only activities essential to the nightly routine are bedtime stories, so I can only imagine how much more intense things get in the evening’s when there is homework/projects/sport etc to contend with whilst still trying to have a loving relationship with your partner. I do not know how mothers that work full time manage the juggle...it is the hardest act of all.

    Life these days for women is so much more complicated, along with great opportunities comes big and not so easy decisions and there has to be sacrifices made along the way whether that be money, time with kids etc. I think the most important thing, depending your circumstances of course, is to just listen to your heart and make a decision that you are happy with. Life is too short for regrets.

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  7. yes...you have again said allowed what many of us think...
    i work from home- and it's something i love to do- but it's not for everyone.
    sure..i don't race to the office after drop off, but i do find it hard to not multi-task the entire day as i am always here in some capacity!

    everyone has a monday...or a tuesday...i guess it's finding that elusive balance!
    i totally agree...don't just eat with the kids ....it's important that you all feel fed..and warm...loved and looked after...
    that includes you to *big* people as well....

    melissa xx

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  8. oh god see there i am multi-tasking...answering the mailman delivering fabric orders in between typing like a mad woman....
    i meant *aloud*!!!!

    back to it all.....hmmmmm!

    m xxx

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  9. Great post Lou - and yes, very honest.

    I think when you become a mother, there are just not enough hours in the day. Full stop. Wherever you are, you feel guilty for not being somewhere else. And you always feel, to some extent, that you could be doing better.

    I think the key is not berating yourself too much, focusing on the good stuff and not comparing your life to anyone's elses. Everyone has their own battles :) xx

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  10. Well put, and as always nicely honest. I take my hat off to you Lou - nothing is ever easy - especially when combining work and children. Over the past eleven (gasp!) years I've been "full-time" at home, then "full-time" at work, and then consulted for an agency "on-a-when-the project-suited-me" basis. Upon reflection, the consulting worked the best, allowing a nice balance between home and work. Alas, moving to the good ole US of A put a bit of a spanner in that idea and I am back to "full-time" at home again (but with the boys the age they are, and all their busy-ness it's utterly pleasurable!). Mind you there is a wee part of me that misses the intellectual stimulation of work....

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  11. I could have written this. Working 40 hours a week is a necessity in my house, but it's hard. Oh, so hard!

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  12. Oh Lou!! I think you do a fabulous job of managing everything. But I do understand what you're going through and how you feel. If you saw my inbox right now you would just die!! Hang in there love :) xo

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  13. Maternal guilt. It eats us away like rust on an old pipe!

    Once in a while I sit myself down and think about what is really most important in life - to me. The answer is always the same - 'happiness'.
    It may sound flippant because who doesn't want that. But it's more about what that word means to me, and in marches visions of many sorts.
    I take a deep breath and try to shave off all else and it actually works for a few days, until I have to sit myself down again.. :)

    It's an ever moving current of 'life debris' that can either turn into a torrent or managed down to a tranquil flow. The trick is knowing how, which of course is never easy.

    Hang on in there my friend. We are all in that same boat. Fighting the same current.

    xx C

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  14. I'm glad someone else ends up leaving the breakfast bowls out before leaving for school - mind you because I work here I have to put them away when I get back before starting work! I then have to shut off from the mess around me and concentrate. My bugbear is trying not to be distracted by the work again in that period between SC coming home and going to bed. And also making sure I take one or two weekday nights to sit down with OH... the balancing act is hard but one we get very good at.
    So beautifully put in your post Lou and as always you make me feel much better about it all! xxx

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